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RainbowLight
Posts : 252
Join date : 2020-11-05
Age : 56
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Dating, Love, Relationships these days Empty Dating, Love, Relationships these days

Mon Aug 15, 2022 1:52 pm
Dating and relationships these days... things have changed a lot from the past, haven't they?!
In the past when a guy showed interest it pretty much meant he was serious about you and having a relationship with you. This meant eventually marrying. So if a guy showed interest you, dated you, -the courtship stage-, you could be assured it'd go somewhere.
If the woman accidentally got pregnant it was the done things to marry her. Neither party had much of a choice (not just the man, the girl didn't either, esp. not her as her life would be ruined as an unmarried woman with a child. I think it was frowned upon into the 80s.)
In any case, there was some sense of security and a future if 2 started dating.

That is no longer the case. We can do whatever these days, regardless of gender.
Now we often have men showing interest only to then withdraw and ghost the woman just when she's getting into the guy and falling for him, leaving her devastated and wondering what the heck happened.

I believe this has much to do with the collective wounds of the genders: fear of commitment and being tied down for men, fear of being abandoned for women.
This goes all the way back to where we split from source into masculine & feminine. The masculine venturing off, wanting to taste freedom, the feminine becoming afraid as the masculine did that, suddenly alone & feeling abandoned.
That's the abridged version.
This is embedded in all of us in various levels.

What I also see is a lot is men not being able to heal after a relationship went south. Often 16 yrs after a divorce or breakup still badmouthing their ex and being influenced by the pain of the divorce that he should've bounced back from by then (I've come across this many times, not once, inability to heal it seems).
The feminine principle knows that death & birth, endings & new beginnings, are part of life. Mind you, feminine principle does NOT equal women, men also have part feminine in them, right!
But in general women know more innately to heal and bounce back from setbacks end to move on, even if it was a major setback. Doesn't mean we don't hurt as bad, it just means we are able to heal & recover better.
Also because women tend to naturally be more in touch with feelings and emotions and intuition and so on, which makes it easier to for instance talk about an issue or seeks help etc. etc..

And now, with everything shifting so much during this transitional time where we let go of the obsolete traditional we seem to find ourselves in a sort of no-man's land?
I just watched a vid by a dating coach on this ghosting and withdrawing thing by men. And it left me wondering why the hell things have to be so difficult.

I guess in essence it comes down to both genders overcoming their resp. collective wounds? Women building their inner strength & confidence to higher levels unrelated to a man and relationship. This, as women often tend to make that more important once they're involved. For this to happen development of Self is needed.
And for men to overcome their innate (subconscious) fear of commitment and being tied down, coming to realise that being in a connection does not equal loss of freedom. AND also learn to bounce back and heal from a previous connection. For this insight in Self and personal development is needed.
I suppose for both also a healthier balance between the inner Masc & Fem energies.

In a way it is a very interesting time and transition, but when you're hoping to find a great relationship like me it sure as heck isn't the easiest of times. In a sense I feel, "Why does it have to be so difficult?"
And I do understand, I think at least, as we cannot get to the new with its higher energies while holding on to the old secure traditional ways. But on a more personal level it just seems rather trying and not much fun.

Please bear in mind what I wrote is my own pondering, mixed with snippets of what I've learnt from many other people, and what I describe won't fit everyone. Always exceptions to the rules and apart from that, these dynamics occur in various stages as well, from extremely mild to very intense.

Hearts Hearts Hearts
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